Take the lead, please.

Albert and his favorite online companion, a girl, were IM-ing. Actually it is the same aforementioned girl in the previous post. Apparently, she was soo overwhelmed with the apologetic posting that she couldn’t help but allow her heart to just melt away, along with any bitterness towards Albert. Soo much so that she and Albert decided to kiss and make up (not literally of course, it’s a bloody metaphor), and forgive and forget, for the best of their friendship. Maybe it was partly because she just can’t get enough of him, it’s a wonder what a few well chosen words in a blog posting can do. Alright then, better stop gloating, she might just be reading this too, and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Alright, back to the topic.



They stumbled unto the topic of dancing. And considering that this special girl has been a dancefloor hogger since kingdom come, and Albert, well lets just say theres a damn good reason why he hopes that his dancing ability is in no way related to his sexual prowess, a la that Animal Planet episode(which was also mentioned before here), this girl then indulged in the ultimate deed of magnanimity- she decided to give him some tips.



Albert told the girl his motto when it comes to dancing, that he would simply "talk" the girl out of noticing his pathetic dancing abilities, hoping that he can just cross his fingers and engage in conversation with the girl, since his body language isnt going to be anything close to decipherable. Which the girl then promptly in no uncertain terms let Albert know that that was THE lamest thing she had ever heard. Give him a break, desperate dudes resort to desperate measures. Besides, its just freestyle dancing isnt it, what's the worst that could happen?



Now you think that the following statement is probably going to contradict the previous one isnt it? You’re damn right about that.



She could dirty dance you, she says. Yeah, like THATS gonna happen. The only chance of that happening is that if theres a sexy song playing in the background, like maybe Buttons or Promiscuous, which happen to be hot songs that are played quite frequently. The imminent possibility then dawned on Albert. Gulp. He is definately all ears now.



Accoording to the girl( havent got exclusive rights to her name, since she is particularly sensitive about it), if she dances close to you, that means you should probably hold her. But one must also afford the girl enough space to do her own "thing", since she herself would'nt like following a guy's lead. Now, seemingly self-contradictory statements which are soo subjective on how a helpless guy should reciprocate when faced with do-or-face-humiliation-on-the-dancefloor situations do not help much to quell any anxiety, in fact, God forbid, it might even confuse a poor guy like Albert. He can already imagine holding and "unholding" a girl in such rapid succession that she would probably think he was groping her. Lets all together now sigh and shake our heads.



Whats that? Its all about body language? Its easy for you to sit there and think that, unless you happen to be a good dancer, then you can tell Albert about body language. Hell, if it came down to body language he would be bloody speaking in tongues dammit! He's pretty much a no hoper. Lets all sigh again.



So now, if you would kindly excuse Albert and all the expletives that were mindlessly ejaculated (yes that word has more that one usage), he has to download a couple of excerpts of Dancing for Dummies and persuade his favourite mop to practice with him(at least it wont dirty dance him).