Cure for depression=Beating a private school and almost getting drunk
Losing puts things into perspective. It does. Its amazing how you twist the reality to accept a bummer in life. We totally lost on purpose. We gave it to them. Yeah.
Well, here Albert must thank his fellow debaters, for beating Sri Sedaya. At least they still have Taylors. They are now one step closer to winning it. It was so wonderfully efficient. Albert had the script down to perfection. He pre-empted what the opposition would come up with, and cleverly put it as the last point of their own script, so with all the immaculate timing, just when the opposition thought they had got them with the "uniform within a uniform" thing, Tess banged them back with meritocracy. Albert loves big words. Shereena was super fluent, and as much as Shereena wont admit it, Albert came up with a couple of good last-minute-rebuttals that she used both in her 2nd speaker speech, AND her reply speech.
He also like to thank another girl, and maybe apologise to certain extent to her, because sometimes, its easy to get blindsided when he has a pretty thing in a short skirt, soo much so that he forgets the real friends. The past week has been a real reality check.
Bottomline, SS17 beat Sri Sedaya. Cheers for free education!!
He's sure you're all sick of debating. So we move on to Wai Chun's b-day party( do you have any idea how scary it is walking in 17 at night, especially since a girl got raped near esso not too long ago).
Well, for the benefit of all who didn't make it, Albert shall try to describe the atmosphere to you. It was very Chinese. Only Evan and Albert were non-chinese( and considering the amount of self-depreciating racist Indian jokes Evan rattles off, he might as well be chinese). Owh yeah, Pn Chua was there.
But she was nice, as sporting as a woman of her graceful age would be. There was this semi-truck/stall called Fatman(the chinese are very frank people) Steamboat. There was pasta. And there was also an ice cream box. And, the main draw, alcohol.
There was a lot of fuss about the alcohol, everyone was so obsessed with getting drunk. The top 3 drinkers would have to be Boon Han, Christina, and Wai Chun. For Boon Han, Mrs Tuen(bartender of the day) had a special concoction they called AK-47. Safe to say, Boon survived.
Albert himself had a full shot of Tequila, but the drink didn't live up to the hype. Remember the margarita he shared with Manishya? That had more oomph in it. Of course, that could have been entirely been because of Manishya.
But Albert has to say, the only drawback was that Albert didn't get drunk, nor did anyone else(Boon could've been, but no one would be able to tell the difference).
To celebrate getting over his depression, Albert is gonna down a whole bottle of this strange, black coloured, drink. It doesn't burn your tongue, but it stings it, and on its way down your throat, it gives your this grating sensation, subtle and wholly pleasurable. Then the effects of this burp-inducing concoction of liquid and gasses with a high sugar content will be the only thing he can get high on.
Coke.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Everybody hates Tuesdays
Has it been mentioned that irony has a strange way of screwing Albert from behind? Yes, if you do remember, it has been mentioned. Tuesday was a classic case of cruel irony.
For starters, it all happened in Catholic High, the school he was only whiskers away from being transfered to. Owh, the setting was "perfect".
He put his all into this one, more effort than he had ever put into anything. They won the coin toss this time. Maybe they shouldnt have, but they did, and they lost, cruel irony number 1.
In the quarantine period, Shereena asked him what was "globalization"? The topic by the way, was "globalization contributes to the development of third world countries". And she didnt know what was globalization, when her scripts were done for her(guess who), and the rationale was for her to be able to have more time to do research. What is globalization. Cruel irony number 2.
When it was Albert's turn to speak(he was third speaker), everyone expected the same old boring guy who nobody could understand because he used to many big words and had no X factor. Instead, the Albert that day was on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. With an almost "I dont give a shit" attitude(well when you're in a sinking boat, hungry, pissed, flustered, dissapointed and insanely nervous, you flip), he became quite possibly the most "unobedient" as Tess puts it, debater who ever competed in Wira cup. One of the teacher's said that he was too "revolutionary" for the Wira Cup. Reality check over here-->He was crude, disrespectful(also known as witty), arrogant(or pompous as the third speaker from the opposing team puts it) and had absolute disregard for the rules. Well the crowd no doubt sounded their appreciation, one particular teacher laughed like she was watching an Adam Sandler movie. Adam Sandler movies are dumb. So whether the crowd was laughing with him or at him is quite open to debate.
Facial expressions-check. Non-reading from cue cards-check. Moving a little as he was advised to do after his debut the last time round-check(maybe a little over done). He remembered shouting towards the ending of his speech, as he was told to be more forceful-check(whether you can be funny and forceful is doubtful). And yet, even with his improved performance(depends on your definition of improved), they lost. Cruel irony no 3-check.
He is still debating you know. Time has already run out. But he wanted to win, BADLY. The timekeeper isnt happy. The chairperson is yelling "excuse me!!". The SU chief adjudicator looks more than ever determined to condemn SS17 to their fate(she probably thought that SU should have been there instead of SS17). But Albert cant get it out of his system. He needs to rebutt their points. Thats what he is supposed to do. If anything at all, he is suppose to save the day. Even if time's up. The crowd are still having a good time, he is very funny they think.
Its over.
But hey, at least he wasnt boring.
Has it been mentioned that irony has a strange way of screwing Albert from behind? Yes, if you do remember, it has been mentioned. Tuesday was a classic case of cruel irony.
For starters, it all happened in Catholic High, the school he was only whiskers away from being transfered to. Owh, the setting was "perfect".
He put his all into this one, more effort than he had ever put into anything. They won the coin toss this time. Maybe they shouldnt have, but they did, and they lost, cruel irony number 1.
In the quarantine period, Shereena asked him what was "globalization"? The topic by the way, was "globalization contributes to the development of third world countries". And she didnt know what was globalization, when her scripts were done for her(guess who), and the rationale was for her to be able to have more time to do research. What is globalization. Cruel irony number 2.
When it was Albert's turn to speak(he was third speaker), everyone expected the same old boring guy who nobody could understand because he used to many big words and had no X factor. Instead, the Albert that day was on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. With an almost "I dont give a shit" attitude(well when you're in a sinking boat, hungry, pissed, flustered, dissapointed and insanely nervous, you flip), he became quite possibly the most "unobedient" as Tess puts it, debater who ever competed in Wira cup. One of the teacher's said that he was too "revolutionary" for the Wira Cup. Reality check over here-->He was crude, disrespectful(also known as witty), arrogant(or pompous as the third speaker from the opposing team puts it) and had absolute disregard for the rules. Well the crowd no doubt sounded their appreciation, one particular teacher laughed like she was watching an Adam Sandler movie. Adam Sandler movies are dumb. So whether the crowd was laughing with him or at him is quite open to debate.
Facial expressions-check. Non-reading from cue cards-check. Moving a little as he was advised to do after his debut the last time round-check(maybe a little over done). He remembered shouting towards the ending of his speech, as he was told to be more forceful-check(whether you can be funny and forceful is doubtful). And yet, even with his improved performance(depends on your definition of improved), they lost. Cruel irony no 3-check.
He is still debating you know. Time has already run out. But he wanted to win, BADLY. The timekeeper isnt happy. The chairperson is yelling "excuse me!!". The SU chief adjudicator looks more than ever determined to condemn SS17 to their fate(she probably thought that SU should have been there instead of SS17). But Albert cant get it out of his system. He needs to rebutt their points. Thats what he is supposed to do. If anything at all, he is suppose to save the day. Even if time's up. The crowd are still having a good time, he is very funny they think.
Its over.
But hey, at least he wasnt boring.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Crunch Time
Well, they won. Albert made his debate debut, in the Taylors debate, as 1st speaker, against St. Mary's, and they won. But it really isnt as glamourous as it may sound, the St Mary debaters were 1st timers, and they were disadvantaged trying to prove the Internet negative. But all certainly wasnt well.
The other 2 debaters told him quite frankly that he was not good enough, and persisted on it so much and were trying to come up with numerous solutions to this, even suggesting he should cut his hair. Suhaib even wanted to sponser the haircut. Thats when Albert started to ask himself questions.
Shereena compared the situation to that of a composer and a singer. The composer does all the work, makes the song work, and works with the lyrics too, but at the end of it the person with the better vocal chords get all the credit. You figure out who's who in the bloody anology.
It was hard doing anything for them after she said that. But 10 hours of reseach and writing later, here he was again, their speeches all nice and tidy, all 2000 words of it. You know what, Albert doesnt care. He'd like to go on and on about commitment, and responsibility, and all that other bullshit. But no. He simply wants to feel important. Sad yes, but thats the truth. Of course Albert wont tell you that, he'll complain that the others cant do it because of "splitting headaches", or limited intellects or whatever. But the freak secretly enjoys all this.
He enjoys their blurness when the debate teacher asks them "what have you done?". When they pass him nervous glances and almost magically, scripts are produced, research done, and Albert assures the teacher that there was ample "discussion", and all everyone needed to do was memorize the stuff. Doesnt matter how close to the actual truth this all is, its just very ego-stroking when Albert thinks that the entire debate team would go straight to hell without him. He needs his motivation. Its like how the neantherthal male get a testosterone kick when they bring home the bacon, or is the sole breadwinner(have you noticed how many fancy terms are attributed to this form of male ego stroking?), its the same thing. Of course, he wont tell you this, he'll just bullshit about responsibility and stuff.
He'll have to repeat this again for the district semi-finals for wira cup. If he doesnt do well, his team will lose the chance to compete in the district final. And his school has never gone past the semifinals of district, hence there is sort of a pressure to go one further. Albert screws up again, SS17 dont get into district final, and he'll be an easy scapegoat. More motivation.
Wish him luck for the semi-final. He needs it. For now he has to go. To write their speeches.
Well, they won. Albert made his debate debut, in the Taylors debate, as 1st speaker, against St. Mary's, and they won. But it really isnt as glamourous as it may sound, the St Mary debaters were 1st timers, and they were disadvantaged trying to prove the Internet negative. But all certainly wasnt well.
The other 2 debaters told him quite frankly that he was not good enough, and persisted on it so much and were trying to come up with numerous solutions to this, even suggesting he should cut his hair. Suhaib even wanted to sponser the haircut. Thats when Albert started to ask himself questions.
Shereena compared the situation to that of a composer and a singer. The composer does all the work, makes the song work, and works with the lyrics too, but at the end of it the person with the better vocal chords get all the credit. You figure out who's who in the bloody anology.
It was hard doing anything for them after she said that. But 10 hours of reseach and writing later, here he was again, their speeches all nice and tidy, all 2000 words of it. You know what, Albert doesnt care. He'd like to go on and on about commitment, and responsibility, and all that other bullshit. But no. He simply wants to feel important. Sad yes, but thats the truth. Of course Albert wont tell you that, he'll complain that the others cant do it because of "splitting headaches", or limited intellects or whatever. But the freak secretly enjoys all this.
He enjoys their blurness when the debate teacher asks them "what have you done?". When they pass him nervous glances and almost magically, scripts are produced, research done, and Albert assures the teacher that there was ample "discussion", and all everyone needed to do was memorize the stuff. Doesnt matter how close to the actual truth this all is, its just very ego-stroking when Albert thinks that the entire debate team would go straight to hell without him. He needs his motivation. Its like how the neantherthal male get a testosterone kick when they bring home the bacon, or is the sole breadwinner(have you noticed how many fancy terms are attributed to this form of male ego stroking?), its the same thing. Of course, he wont tell you this, he'll just bullshit about responsibility and stuff.
He'll have to repeat this again for the district semi-finals for wira cup. If he doesnt do well, his team will lose the chance to compete in the district final. And his school has never gone past the semifinals of district, hence there is sort of a pressure to go one further. Albert screws up again, SS17 dont get into district final, and he'll be an easy scapegoat. More motivation.
Wish him luck for the semi-final. He needs it. For now he has to go. To write their speeches.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Unforeseen and somewhat far-fetched consequences
Albert 2006: Normal boring prefect.
Albert 2007: Normal boring prefect + English debating zone champion + lead actor, scriptwriter, co-director of English Drama + Vocalist of a band( pending 2 upcoming gigs).
How? Albert has no idea. No idea at all. Debating all started with a simple favor from a friend( he did not even merit his place), and now, he finds his comrades and himself zone champions and currently 2 rounds away from being district champions. Albert has never debated before in his life. But how?
It all also started as a simple favor that Albert offered to help Sean write a script for drama. Thats all. And now with the competition 3 weeks away, he finds himself playing the lead, and co-directing.
It also started as a blog posting(B.E.A.T.S.). He did mention it to his friends rather casually once when they were on an outing, but they laughed at him. And now Timothy, Boon, Evan and Albert will be performing for IU day and quite possibly for the prefect's dinner. But Albert cant sing, so ho- dont ask.
It all started on Tuesday. Last Tuesday. They we're in the final of the Wira cup( zone), and after watching Amar single-handedly tear Seafield apart, you could say they we're abit nervy. But Albert has never seen Shereena( her attire needs no introduction by now) so determined before in their short acquaintance, but she wanted to win badly. Albert prayed Tess didnt read from her cue cards. Suhaib also had to steer clear of silly grammatical mistakes. And EVEN with chief adjudicators who dont know how to ****** flip a coin, and getting the lousier side (the whole topic was lousy anyway), they managed to pull it off. How? Well Amar didnt take part in the final. Why? Thats still a bloody mystery if you ask Albert.
On Wednesday, Albert met his idol, his role model. Mr Sean, his bible knowledge teacher. From the moment Mr, erm, Sean insisted that he was referred to simply as Sean, you knew you were gonna have a good feeling about this dude. This dude, he's about 27, and he took SPM in 2000. And he got the highest in English, no not in his school, not in his state, but in the whole freaking country. You could worship the ground he walks on. He also led his debate team to the State championship. He is currently a producer at 8tv, his credits include Malaysian Idol and One In A Million. He has also brushed shoulders with big name local artistes and the reality show contestants. Just how cool can a person get? And you know what, he is also an aspiring writer, just like yours truly. He also wants to see Albert's work. Fame and fortune beckons from the horizon.
And as for the gigs, well, they needed performances for both IU day and the prefect dinner, and because the band was already there, and they were simply short of a vocalist, Albert sort of offered his services. This was his idea from the beginning to the end. So yeah, he screwed himself over for this one. Its strange though, how a blog posting with a somewhat far-fetched ambition managed to translate into reality. To what extent it actually translates into reality remains nothing more than a fanciful notion( or a blog posting if you will). Just a couple of gigs? Or maybe they could go platinum in album sales. All this without any singing lessons whatsoever.
Then, he ran into some girl problems. CIG(cute Indian girl) A saw something about Albert that she wasnt supposed to see, which she told CIG B which she probably shouldnt have told, and CIG B blew it out of proportion and accused Albert of doing something which he did not do. Albert then explained that what he had indirectly done had inadvertently involved CIG A who did not do what CIG B thought she had done which she just assumed was Albert's fault when it really wasnt. Yup, girl problems are problems wrapped in a paradox encased in an enigma and deserve their place right up there with the great questions of life.
And so here he is. He has to make the drama happen. Pull his team to the district final. And sing. May God be with him.
Albert 2006: Normal boring prefect.
Albert 2007: Normal boring prefect + English debating zone champion + lead actor, scriptwriter, co-director of English Drama + Vocalist of a band( pending 2 upcoming gigs).
How? Albert has no idea. No idea at all. Debating all started with a simple favor from a friend( he did not even merit his place), and now, he finds his comrades and himself zone champions and currently 2 rounds away from being district champions. Albert has never debated before in his life. But how?
It all also started as a simple favor that Albert offered to help Sean write a script for drama. Thats all. And now with the competition 3 weeks away, he finds himself playing the lead, and co-directing.
It also started as a blog posting(B.E.A.T.S.). He did mention it to his friends rather casually once when they were on an outing, but they laughed at him. And now Timothy, Boon, Evan and Albert will be performing for IU day and quite possibly for the prefect's dinner. But Albert cant sing, so ho- dont ask.
It all started on Tuesday. Last Tuesday. They we're in the final of the Wira cup( zone), and after watching Amar single-handedly tear Seafield apart, you could say they we're abit nervy. But Albert has never seen Shereena( her attire needs no introduction by now) so determined before in their short acquaintance, but she wanted to win badly. Albert prayed Tess didnt read from her cue cards. Suhaib also had to steer clear of silly grammatical mistakes. And EVEN with chief adjudicators who dont know how to ****** flip a coin, and getting the lousier side (the whole topic was lousy anyway), they managed to pull it off. How? Well Amar didnt take part in the final. Why? Thats still a bloody mystery if you ask Albert.
On Wednesday, Albert met his idol, his role model. Mr Sean, his bible knowledge teacher. From the moment Mr, erm, Sean insisted that he was referred to simply as Sean, you knew you were gonna have a good feeling about this dude. This dude, he's about 27, and he took SPM in 2000. And he got the highest in English, no not in his school, not in his state, but in the whole freaking country. You could worship the ground he walks on. He also led his debate team to the State championship. He is currently a producer at 8tv, his credits include Malaysian Idol and One In A Million. He has also brushed shoulders with big name local artistes and the reality show contestants. Just how cool can a person get? And you know what, he is also an aspiring writer, just like yours truly. He also wants to see Albert's work. Fame and fortune beckons from the horizon.
And as for the gigs, well, they needed performances for both IU day and the prefect dinner, and because the band was already there, and they were simply short of a vocalist, Albert sort of offered his services. This was his idea from the beginning to the end. So yeah, he screwed himself over for this one. Its strange though, how a blog posting with a somewhat far-fetched ambition managed to translate into reality. To what extent it actually translates into reality remains nothing more than a fanciful notion( or a blog posting if you will). Just a couple of gigs? Or maybe they could go platinum in album sales. All this without any singing lessons whatsoever.
Then, he ran into some girl problems. CIG(cute Indian girl) A saw something about Albert that she wasnt supposed to see, which she told CIG B which she probably shouldnt have told, and CIG B blew it out of proportion and accused Albert of doing something which he did not do. Albert then explained that what he had indirectly done had inadvertently involved CIG A who did not do what CIG B thought she had done which she just assumed was Albert's fault when it really wasnt. Yup, girl problems are problems wrapped in a paradox encased in an enigma and deserve their place right up there with the great questions of life.
And so here he is. He has to make the drama happen. Pull his team to the district final. And sing. May God be with him.
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