AFS, dildos and HICD

" Alright everyone, there isn't any water in the toilet, so we're going to pass this roll of tissue around, take as much you think you will need for today."

Today, means the course of the AFS interview, which was from 9-5. The exchange program. 8 hours. Tissue paper. Not enough that Albert an his fellow candidates were nervous, they had to control their bladder. Because no one wants to actually use the damn tissue paper. Bloody hell.

They pretty much fooled all of them. In all actuality, the tissue was supposed to play a part in the ice breaking process. Say something about yourself, and tear off one piece of tissue, until you're through with all your tissue that you had taken from that roll of tissue. So those whoever had taken loads of tissue in "foresight", had to actually have a lengthy introduction( Albert believes the term here is "zha dou"). Albert had a modest 7 pieces. The most "zha dou"-ed would be Carishma, this SJ debater and good friend of Shereena's. We'll come to her later.

The facilitators, as you may have figured out by the shit(pardon the pun) they pulled on the candidates, are very cool people. They had loads of activities lined up for the candidates until and after they've been interviewed(since they could only leave at 5). One of the most interesting ones was this, how should Albert put it, it was sort of like charades, with a twist. They(facilitators) would write a word or phrase on this piece of cardboard head gear, which the candidates would wear on their head. A few of them were chosen (including Albert) to take part.They all sat in a row, facing the rest of the other candidates. So they put this thing on your head, and you have to guess what is written on it. You guess by asking one yes or no question to the crowd on each turn, who can only answer yes or no to each question. And by deduction, you have to eventually guess what it is. Albert's one was "World Trade Centre". He figured it out eventually. Some other dude got "swimming pool". They both got off easy. Carishma got "condom", this other guy got "G-string", and this poor, innocent girl got "dildo". Albert really meant it when he said the facilitators were cool. Maybe a little too cool.

Everyone got theirs except this poor Chinese girl.

" Does it entertain people?"

"YES!"

"Does it have feelings?"

"NO!"

"Is it hard?"

"YES!!"

And so on. She was hopeless, so they let her go. Apparently she doesn't know what a dildo is. She probably doesn't want to know either.

Albert made new friends there, and met some old ones too. Justin Low En Lin, formerly of Albert's primary Chinese school was there. He refers to himself as En Lin now. Instead of Justin. There was something familiar about the way the acted. At least there was still a little bit of "Justin" that Albert knows in "En Lin". There was also this half-British, Malay guy who was there, with a pretty decent British accent. Danial. There was also this Chinese guy, who hung around Danial, and he put up this weird British accent, just listening to their banter was insanely funny. Almost surreal.

Then there was Carishma. She was friendly, very nice. They talked a little. Then in the interview room, Albert went right before Carishma, and his Malay interviewer, once they were through(the interview went fine by the way), looking at his next interviewee's profile(Carishma), showed it to Albert(the passport sized photo of her) and told Albert:

"Panggil you punye girlfriend masuk!"

Naturally, Albert supposes that this guy just couldn't help it, WHAT ARE THE BLOODY ODDS ANYWAY!? 2 successive Indians "gasp" of DIFFERENT sex "GASP" to be interviewed!! Both of them must be getting it on or something. Maybe in the "waterless" toilet or something. Naturally. But it was probably a harmless joke right? Just like how the last Malay dude Albert had a conversation with inquired about his penile size(don't ask)(no not about his, ahem, Albert means don't ask about THAT situation)(that doesn't mean you get ask about the other thing either).

Of course, after that, he looked at Carishma differently. Just slightly different. She isn't exactly a knockout, but there's something X-factor-ish about her. Its like being turned on then off soo fast you only feel the shades of the on part. Huh? Damn it, that asshole.

But of course, he found one of the male facilitators slightly attractive too, so do take his words about her with a pinch(handful) of salt. Being 8 hours in a room with 50 other people can take its toll on anyone. Plus the oxygen deficiency and all. And fake accents. And trying to focus on something other than shitting(the toilet has water actually, but Albert didn't want to take the risk).

Maybe its none of the above. A little self diagnosis tells Albert that its HICD. Being stuck with the same faces for 2 years(no matter how hot) is beginning to take its toll on him. A cure wont be easy(although the recent developments in Boon Han and Sean's personal life are hint as to what the cure is), because at this rate, its gonna be torture, its gonna be irreversible, its, its Hot Indian Chick Deficiency.

Missing Monday

Wow, this is a personal record. Albert missed school 2 times last week, and come this week it will be 3 times in 2 weeks. He'll be missing Monday.

Not that he likes skipping school, mind you, it's just inevitable circumstances. Monday's circumstance, is of course the reason this post exists.

He's going for an interview.

No, not for a job or something. Its for this exchange program organized by the US. He sent in his application 4 months ago, and hoped for the best. And here we are, fast forward to now, and he's been shortlisted along with other hopeful applicants all over the nation for the program.

If he does ace the interview, that means he will get the oppurtunity to go to the US to continue his studies there with foster parents in a foster home sponsered by the US government. Awesome.

But of course, on the flip side, the chances of that happening is slim to say the least. Even if he doesnt make the cut, he can take solace in the fact that he wont have to share the fate of his other classmates in doing that silly Moral skit where they will embarass themselves for a couple of minutes in front of the whole school. Yay! (unless the skit gets postponed again to the following Monday where he will have to perform too, which will be a terribly embarassing "eat your words" moment)

But that aside, do wish Albert all the luck on Monday because he will certainly need it, but, not as much as his classmates would!

Haha, wish you could miss Monday too eh?

Good luck!

Viva la Interact (pfft!)

You remember when you found out that Sean was the President of Interact? Yeah, there were many mixed feelings alright. Some of us froze in shock, some of us prophesied that doom shall befall the Interact Club of SS17 and some of us, well, thought it was a joke.

Albert fell into the latter category.

But hey, Sean did alright didn't he?

Relatively?

Yesterday marked the end of the reign of Sean and his crew of board members as the people at the helm of the Interact Club of SS17. It was almost a relief, you know, like finally, this cursed tenure is over. "Here, its your turn to suffer." That kinda thing. And Albert supposes that the incoming board think they have it all set out for them, all they have to do is go one better than the outgoing board. Piece of cake. Whats the worst that could happen? Haha, the young and naive, so naive.

Well, there was about 20+ people at Neesha's house on that Saturday. Albert arrived with Boon of course(they seem to go everywhere together huh?) to a hoard of hungry people. Well maybe it was just Tess, but when the pizza arrived, it was as though a famine had just ended. Hungry teenagers are quite a sight.

Alright. There isn't much to say. Look the party wasn't exactly happening. Sean and the band members were suppose to perform, but Abel bailed out with the drums. So no performance. Not even the acoustic songs. The next best thing was probably the games. So here goes...

There was this thing where if you didn't react fast enough, you have to eat this sushi thing, which there was supposedly a 50-50 chance of picking a sushi with wasabi in it. Now, Albert has heard tons of stories of this wasabi thing, its suppose to be THE spiciest thing in the culinary universe(well going by the way they talk about it, it must be). Being someone who enjoys pushing his bowels to the limit with spicy food, he had his hopes high. So when he did actually eat one, well it was spicy. But if it really had wasabi in it, he would be quite disappointed. That sushi was about as lethal as apple pie. So he just hopes that that wasn't the one with the wasabi in it, so at least he will have the hope that maybe one day, he will eventually face off against the real wasabi.

Then before the truth or dare game, a couple of board members descended into a heated argument about how the weight of the water bottle might affect the number and duration of the spins. Physics concepts were flung at each other in a heated discussion, about the factors affecting the damn bottle, everything from light intensity to humidity to pressure to the downward gradient of the ground. God knows why they didn't just spin the damn bottle. But Pn Chong K. L. would have been soo proud.

Well, the highlights was Boon kissing *** ***( again here the two people who have an inflated sense of their mastery of English decided to have a go at each other)

" Its give a smack on the cheek!"

" No its a peck!"

"No a smack is to hit!"

Alright kids. When will they learn not to *&%#-ing correct each other's English? Its incredibly annoying.
Lets just ask Merriam-Webster alright?
Main Entry:
4smack
transitive verb
1: to close and open (lips) noisily and often in rapid succession especially in eating
2 a: to kiss

There, happy now? There really should be a law against this.

So he did smack, oops, PECK, or like how the rest of the world refers to it as, he KISSED Meepei on the cheeks.

Then there was the little part where Albert had to kiss Boon's foot.

Then the Grammar cop had to harness her ego to cough out 10 things that Timothy was better than her at. Timothy let her stop at 5. Sigh.

Well the Oreo cake was heavenly(interestingly juxtaposed to the scene around it). They sang to tune of the birthday song(because the interacters don't know the Interact song, which is like the Interact Anthem) and this moment of ultra lameness probably encapsulates the whole tenure of the outgoing board members and the Interact Club in general. But Albert cant possibly imagine doing it with any other bunch of wacky board members. You just cant do it like how SMK SS17's Interact Club does it.
And then Evan, the new president, in unforeseen wisdom, so very aptly spelled out Interact to the loud approval of the members-

L!
A!
M!
E!

And thats something only our Interacters get.