AFS, dildos and HICD

" Alright everyone, there isn't any water in the toilet, so we're going to pass this roll of tissue around, take as much you think you will need for today."

Today, means the course of the AFS interview, which was from 9-5. The exchange program. 8 hours. Tissue paper. Not enough that Albert an his fellow candidates were nervous, they had to control their bladder. Because no one wants to actually use the damn tissue paper. Bloody hell.

They pretty much fooled all of them. In all actuality, the tissue was supposed to play a part in the ice breaking process. Say something about yourself, and tear off one piece of tissue, until you're through with all your tissue that you had taken from that roll of tissue. So those whoever had taken loads of tissue in "foresight", had to actually have a lengthy introduction( Albert believes the term here is "zha dou"). Albert had a modest 7 pieces. The most "zha dou"-ed would be Carishma, this SJ debater and good friend of Shereena's. We'll come to her later.

The facilitators, as you may have figured out by the shit(pardon the pun) they pulled on the candidates, are very cool people. They had loads of activities lined up for the candidates until and after they've been interviewed(since they could only leave at 5). One of the most interesting ones was this, how should Albert put it, it was sort of like charades, with a twist. They(facilitators) would write a word or phrase on this piece of cardboard head gear, which the candidates would wear on their head. A few of them were chosen (including Albert) to take part.They all sat in a row, facing the rest of the other candidates. So they put this thing on your head, and you have to guess what is written on it. You guess by asking one yes or no question to the crowd on each turn, who can only answer yes or no to each question. And by deduction, you have to eventually guess what it is. Albert's one was "World Trade Centre". He figured it out eventually. Some other dude got "swimming pool". They both got off easy. Carishma got "condom", this other guy got "G-string", and this poor, innocent girl got "dildo". Albert really meant it when he said the facilitators were cool. Maybe a little too cool.

Everyone got theirs except this poor Chinese girl.

" Does it entertain people?"

"YES!"

"Does it have feelings?"

"NO!"

"Is it hard?"

"YES!!"

And so on. She was hopeless, so they let her go. Apparently she doesn't know what a dildo is. She probably doesn't want to know either.

Albert made new friends there, and met some old ones too. Justin Low En Lin, formerly of Albert's primary Chinese school was there. He refers to himself as En Lin now. Instead of Justin. There was something familiar about the way the acted. At least there was still a little bit of "Justin" that Albert knows in "En Lin". There was also this half-British, Malay guy who was there, with a pretty decent British accent. Danial. There was also this Chinese guy, who hung around Danial, and he put up this weird British accent, just listening to their banter was insanely funny. Almost surreal.

Then there was Carishma. She was friendly, very nice. They talked a little. Then in the interview room, Albert went right before Carishma, and his Malay interviewer, once they were through(the interview went fine by the way), looking at his next interviewee's profile(Carishma), showed it to Albert(the passport sized photo of her) and told Albert:

"Panggil you punye girlfriend masuk!"

Naturally, Albert supposes that this guy just couldn't help it, WHAT ARE THE BLOODY ODDS ANYWAY!? 2 successive Indians "gasp" of DIFFERENT sex "GASP" to be interviewed!! Both of them must be getting it on or something. Maybe in the "waterless" toilet or something. Naturally. But it was probably a harmless joke right? Just like how the last Malay dude Albert had a conversation with inquired about his penile size(don't ask)(no not about his, ahem, Albert means don't ask about THAT situation)(that doesn't mean you get ask about the other thing either).

Of course, after that, he looked at Carishma differently. Just slightly different. She isn't exactly a knockout, but there's something X-factor-ish about her. Its like being turned on then off soo fast you only feel the shades of the on part. Huh? Damn it, that asshole.

But of course, he found one of the male facilitators slightly attractive too, so do take his words about her with a pinch(handful) of salt. Being 8 hours in a room with 50 other people can take its toll on anyone. Plus the oxygen deficiency and all. And fake accents. And trying to focus on something other than shitting(the toilet has water actually, but Albert didn't want to take the risk).

Maybe its none of the above. A little self diagnosis tells Albert that its HICD. Being stuck with the same faces for 2 years(no matter how hot) is beginning to take its toll on him. A cure wont be easy(although the recent developments in Boon Han and Sean's personal life are hint as to what the cure is), because at this rate, its gonna be torture, its gonna be irreversible, its, its Hot Indian Chick Deficiency.