September 9, 2006-2007

Anyone who's tried will tell you it wasn't easy. Motivation may get you started, but even habit sometimes wont keep you going. He never really expected it to turn out like this. One year, 3 blogs, and 36 posts later here we are, the first year anniversary of Albert's blogs.

One whole year.

One whole year of detailed documentation of Albert in a witty 3rd person perspective. Nothing more other than Albert, more Albert and more Albert. And you actually read it. You are either extremely bored most of the time or you really, really have no life. Either way thanks, it was terribly nice of you. You did a wonderful job of making Albert feel important. And noticed too, just Google "kamahlendra".

http://www.google.com.my/search?q=kamahlendra&hl=en&filter=0

You guys really are awesome. You stuck with him through all those moments of his life. The times when he was at a lost for words-

'As he was playing with his handphone, he glimpsed a pair of gorgeous legs sprouting from 3 inch heels, he looked up to see the owner of those legs. He didn't deserve the sight, but there it was, in all her glory, fitted into a tight, tiny black, glittery dress. She flashed him a smile, he looked on stupefied. Time grounded to a halt, his heart skipped a beat(maybe more), white noise filled his brain, it was as though the very spirit of every male that ever acknowledged the highest form aesthetic beauty that is the female culminated in this very moment, this blip in the fabric of time through all eternity. With such a burden on Albert's back to express this into a sentence that includes adjectives and superlatives that was due to the Godsent creature in front him, what does he say?

"I..I...you..you...look....WHOA!!!" '

Or those times when he was being a guy-

'in a prefect uniform, blazer and all, and boy, she looked hot in the short and tight skirt and small blouse. Its like how a nurse's uniform becomes all sexy in a male fantasy when in fact it really isn't, thats how she transformed the school prefect uniform into something Pn Rohaidah and Pn Chong certainly did not appreciate'

Or the times when people reacted rationally when they confused his identity with someone else-

'Barely moments later, Albert had his shirt forcefully tugged by this Indian dude over to the passenger seat of his blue wira. Albert's legs betrayed him as he followed the man over to the other side in bewilderment. The man was tense and slightly nervous as his eyes glanced the street and spoke to Albert in a hoarse whisper: " Get in the car, now!"

The car door was already open by now, and the man was even more tense and hurried. He repeated his words, but in a more threatening manner, and still Albert refused, hoping he could buy time until someone doing their daily jogging would just by chance come by, but strangely, no one came. But with every passing second, the Indian man could not risk being seen, and with a resolute threat, he looked dead in Albert's eyes, slipped his hands behind his back, and announced that he had a gun.' -ah,the wonderful people of the world.

The times he did things he wished he didn't-

'“Truth or Dare?” she asked. He picked dare, cause he would have lied his way out of Truth anyway. She thought for a while, but it was almost as though she already had it in her mind, it was quite a fantastic idea. Their eyes locked for a while, as everyone dropped silent. “Except me, pick someone of the opposite sex and kiss her. OH yeah, she has to be special." '

And the his painfully intellectual/paranoid moments-

'somehow, he thinks marriage is society’s way to trap young people to adhere to an accepted social structure whereby the building blocks starts at the family.'

And being a guy again(just better worded)-

' “ you can lose yourself, everything, all boundaries, all time, the two bodies become soo mixed up that you don’t know who’s who or what’s what, and just when the sweet confusion soo intense you think you’re going to die, and you know you kinda do, leaving you alone in your separate body, but the one you love is still there. That’s the miracle, you can go to heaven and come back alive, go back anytime you want with the one you love.” ' -With protection of course.

The incredibly optimistic times-

' " I open my eyes, and as I take my 1st conscious breath, I see magnificent golden rays of sunlight filtering through the naked windows. Nature's symphony already proceeding with the chirping of birds, far away muffled barking and late insects headed back to their lairs. The tiltating aroma of freshly brewed coffee teases my already pampered senses, as I slip out of my bed in a zen-like state. I am the picture of serenity. Peace is me, and I am peace." '

And sometimes a little overboard with the far-fetched optimism-

'Then their breakthrough in the international scene will come with their 2nd single, "Beat it", followed up by "Beat You Up" and the phenomenal success of the song "Beat-rice". Fame, fortune, and everything else falls in the laps of B.E.A.T.S. members. Also a chunk of musical history too. '

The slight dramatizations-

'7 birds of chicken. 6 kg of mutton. 5 bags of flour. 4 family members. 3 consecutive days of shopping. 2 narrating personalities. ONE MISSION: Christmas. '

The transformations(some incomplete for very good reasons)-

'Albert 2006: Normal boring prefect.
Albert 2007: Normal boring prefect + English debating zone champion + lead actor, scriptwriter, co-director of English Drama + Vocalist of a band( pending 2 upcoming gigs).'

The happy times-

'Well, they won. Albert made his debate debut, in the Taylors debate, as 1st speaker, against St. Mary's, and they won.'

And the sad ones-

'So here was Albert, drowning in post-debate depression, hoping Saturday he could eat his depressed soul out at the buffet dinner, which is some sort of consolation. Of course it would be nice if he had a friend who could give him a good pat on his back and go all : “ Come, come, its alright,” but you can’t eat your friends you see. They would’t taste good anyway.'

Discussed great conflicts in his life-

'Albert is in a dilemma. An almighty dilemma.
Well you see, he has a shirt. And the shirt has all its prints on the back. And the front is empty. Soo what does our poor protagonist do? Should he do the rightful thing and wear the shirt like he should, with the print on the back, and risk looking like an idiot wearing his shirt the wrong way?

Or, does he go against the very grains of morality and deliberately wear the shirt the wrong way, with the print on the front, so that it will seem to everyone that this bright chap here wore his shirt the right way? Although deep down inside he will know that he isn't wearing the shirt the right way, and although it may seem like he is, he REALLY ISN'T. Plus, the collar gets itchy when you wear the shirt the wrong way. '

The intense political discussions with the occasional tasteful dig-

'sakitgigi,u pergi tuang Coca-cola ke dalam lubang ccohai nenek awak,lepas itu ambil straw dan hisap minum Coca-cola cibai nenek,taruk kaki kau ke dalam dubur datuk kau dan korek berak keluar,hahahaha '

Attempting the impossible-

'They had lofty dreams of promoting Malaysian culture and fostering greater understanding between countries as young ambassadors. And somewhere along the lines, help the world attain world peace. To them, its worth it.

To Albert, well, its free what, so what the hell man'

-and succeeding. (yeah, he actually got the exchange program)

Yes, to you people out there, thank you so very much for supporting this blog. It couldn't have happened without you(well actually it could but it wouldn't be as fun).

To one year of Albert, his opinions, and hopefully many more years of this bullshit.