4/5sc1 memorial( a compilation of all their moments in pictures only FOR THE LACK OF BETTER WORDS)

You know, they’re probably the worst best class in this school’s history. They’re probably the least liked class among teachers. They’re probably going to pull the SPM statistics to an all time low. And they’re probably going to come back and blame the teachers for it. For that, they’ll be legends of SMKSS17 folklore.

At least Albert hopes they will. Because if there’s anything worse than leaving school, it’s being forgotten. But of course, it’s going to take quite a while before THEY fade out of everyone’s consciousness. With all that he's been through with this crazy bunch of people over the past 5 years, they are people he certainly couldn't possibly forget, even if he tried. They’re a small bunch really, who mostly have been in the same class since Form 1, spending 5 hours a day in a classroom 5 days a week, for the past 5 years. So yeah, they’ve bonded, and it’ll be hard for him to imagine life without them. And so as a tribute to them(and also because Albert just can't let go), so the following will be a compilation of all their moments in pictures, simply FOR THE LACK OF BETTER WORDS, because some things just can't be said(or typed).

How could he forget the fearless(shameless) valiant heroes, who rebelled against authority,


slept through classes,




especially those rebels without a cause, unless their cause happened to be side-splittingly, outrageously funny.




And they were really good at that.


He's got the six packs to prove it.

Or how they rallied endlessly against punishing, overwhelming, soul destroying homework.


Some of them simply choose not to do it all, which curiously worked just as well.

Or those tales of romance, of Prince Charming and his maidens,

whose love was forever, but usually expires 2 weeks later. And how Prince Charming moves on to the next, and the next, and the next, and the next damsel in distress(or anyone single).

Or the secret affairs of an unlikely couple,
much to the envy of other admirers.



Only God knows how this happened.

Or the knight in shining armour with a centre parting of which he is particularly concerned of(also don’t touch his shirt or you’ll face his wrath), whose lady is almost as important to him as his hair(touch his hair and face his wrath too). Oh how their dalliances annoy the world to no end,


but nevertheless, everyone hopes for a happy ending for them. And for everyone else's sake.

How can he forget the gorgeous ladies of 5 sc 1. From the intellectual, to the athletic, to the loud, downright narcissistically proud, to the hell hath no fury like her scorned type,

don't be fooled by her pretty face. Or her wit. Or her intelligence. Or her refreshing frankness. They just don't make women like that anymore.

And of course, the nice ones.


How he will miss her wit, or her arrogance, or all their dazzling smiles, or her cold practicality, or her wacky craziness, or her feminist ideals(as sickening as it may be) or the way you generously gave him your tie,


or the way you beat Boon Han in that Need For Speed race.


Seriously.


Ah women, what would we do without them? Or the awesome guys of 5sc1 . From the metrosexual, to the heterosexual to the others with a similar suffix.


Lets not even go there.

How can Albert forget how you diligently accumulated your “slip lewat”, breaking the record for most number of “slip lewat” along the way.


And the way you played bully, and they cheered you on.


And how you always were around the girls,especially since you were a cheerleader,



They hate to admit it, but they were probably just a little jealous……







































..or not.

How will Albert forget the way they soaked each other and half the school after painting the class(and got away with it)?



Or how they skipped English and EST for debate(sure as hell was worth it)



Or how they filmed The Blair Witch Project 2 around school grounds(he's still waiting for the video). And pictures for that matter.


Oh and what about the parties?


The chicks


The dudes


The booze


The drinking


And more drinking


And eventually getting drunk(this always happens)


Then finally, stripping(its customary you see)


Of course, the food, the eating


and more eating


topped off with a little camwhoring


The weddings(actually its only one)


Of course, just because she was their (hot) tuition teacher didnt mean they ALL were always sober.


Anyone remember the Prefect's dinner they we're duped into attending? Which of course turned out to be a good thing since the "actual" prom was a disaster.


Who's that idiot in the middle? Look at Albert, on the far, far right.

There were the surprise dates


The surprise emcee

hey, thats the dude in the picture before!

The prom king that should have been.



hey, they didnt serve alcohol, just juice, right?




OK, maybe the juice was spiked.

Of course, of all the things they did together, the one thing that never failed to instigate yelling matches, pose logistical and similarly paradoxical problems, and play out the occasional drama of soap opera proportions, would be the Interact Club. Since the day Sean became president, everyone knew this was going to be an extraordinary batch of Interactors.

How they worked self-lessly for the romantics on valentines day


Slaved through the night


Well almost all of them


Working out their little, professional diferrences along the way


Transport was never a problem again(hey if clowns can do it, anyone can)


And he has to put up with them.

Poor Sean.

Of course, it wasnt easy on him either.

But for entirely different reasons thats for sure.

Of course, there were the highs


The lows


but generally more highs

Not to mention wide....her orthodontist would've been proud.

Then there were times they actually acted like science students


Made startling discoveries

(thats a foetus in his hands)

Some of them surprisingly were not cut out, and some of them surprisingly were.


Sean and his team of surgeons did Science 1 proud when they executed a flawless frog dissection(unlike another *cough* science *cough* team)







They’ve been through everything together, from their childish Form 1 years to puberty to their awkward teenage years. So fast those 5 years, it feels like just yesterday they were kids. Some of them still are. Somewhat reluctantly, they all grew up(eventually) along the years. And now, as their schooling life ends, as they discard their uniforms, they would no doubt slowly come to realize that they are now (gasp) adults (GASP!). Its quite horrifying to think that some them are actually going to be released into society, with the right to vote, and worst still drive(yes, in that order).

So this is a tribute of sorts(before its too late), to all those people, that Albert has the honour(or peril, it all depends on your perspective really) of calling his friends. To the heroes, knights, and idiots of 5 sc 1,



Albert salutes you, legends.

Have I ever told you, one thing leads to another?


Now, Albert isn't absolutely familiar with the entire concept of karma, because its not just about what you see in My Name is Earl, but it also involves reincarnation among other religious stuff. But what Albert is sure is that there definitely is some sort of Devine Energy or Power if you will that the universe wields that forces a certain Balance upon us mere mortals. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. See, even physics would lead you to the same conclusion.

This particular revelation came unto Albert as he talking to the US ambassador, after being interviewed by 8TV, surrounded by the press.

It would be the sequence of events that led to this moment, all starting with losing the Taylors semifinal debate. You see, had they won that day, they would be in the finals, which means a guaranteed scholarship or at least 50% off for any pre-u course. Consequently, Albert would have to give up his US opportunity as it clashed with the Taylors intake and the scholarship, so certainly, if he had to choose between education and the USA, he would have to pick the former.

As much as they deserved to be in the final, it felt as though it was robbed from them due to, uh, unforeseen circumstances. As such, missing out on the fruits of Albert's ass busting labour, including the glory+monetary benefits, the Powers That Be decided to even things out, you know compensate(plus Albert got NS, so this is long overdue).

Resulting in this moment, as Albert stands on the threshold of fame and stardom. That 8TV guy, from quickie, a newbie, was interviewing him with the whole crew and camera as well as the other teenage "ambassadors". And apparently, they will come in spring to the selected homes of a few of them in the program to film these exchange students, and document their life, compiling it into a series. Yes, a TV show, a SERIES. It will go on air late next year after the program is over, and fingers crossed, Albert might just be in it.

Meeting the ambassador after this seemed merely a side show. Nevertheless, it was very VIP-ish to meet the Representative of Mr Bush who was cordial and took the effort to talk to all the students. He even made it seem like they were the VIPs and not him, welcoming them for another visit, before leaving reluctantly. Albert thinks he's going to like Americans alot.

Maybe this Ambassadors of Peace thing is not too bad. He could very well get used to it.

Cold Feet

Its been 61 days. Thats quite a while isn't it. Its a record actually. And what is Albert's excuse? He was studying for SPM. Somebody should really learn to get his priorities straight.

But all is right again in his world, after finishing SPM, getting through his SAT's(he now knows what space-time is all about!! + Evolution- we came from bacteria all right) and then the more mundane stuff like chinese and bible knowledge.

But now, the sweet taste or freedom, uh, tastes really good. As you can see, it takes a while to get the juices flowing. Nevertheless, he feels the compulsive need to tell you everything that is and will be happening in his life. The biggest of which is the US thing. Albert found out that he is headed to the upper midwest, thats just below Canada, North and South Dakota, Iowa and the like.

Cool. REALLY COOL. Like -14c to -30c cool. Well Albert always wanted to see snow. Make a snowball, throw it at people, run like hell, and the sort. Just that the prospect of being an Indian popcicle is rather daunting. But no worries, he's in it for the experiance alright, good or bad (or *&^%-ing cold).

He's leaving on the 9th of January, which leaves him with little over a month left in the country. It does suck to be leaving school forever, but it sucks even more leaving everybody else. When he comes back, will anyone even remember him?

Hey! Alvin right? No wait, its Adrian. Oh wait dont tell me, Alex!

Sigh.

But hey, when oppurtunity comes knocking, one has to open the door and leave. But he still has a month, one last month to eat everything that he cant get there, to see everyone that he wont be seeing, do all those things that he wouldnt be able to do there. On the flip side, he'll be getting $125 USD a month of pocket money. Its not ALL about the money, but it is a small token of appreciation for Albert's efforts at fostering world peace. Or something like that. Plus theres gonna be cable TV. American cable TV kicks Astro's ass. Yeah, karma rocks!

In the mean time however, he will be attending a Christian Youth Camp for another shot at enlightenment, after which he will have visa interviews and meetings with the US Ambassador among other trivial unimportant things. Like shopping for winter clothing.

He hates uniforms

Intro: In a fictional school somewhere, the prefects rule with an iron fist. The over-efficiency of the prefects has lead to near perfect discipline on school grounds, until one day……

Scene 1 (Students going through a routine spotcheck line with a high ranking prefect and his subordinates)

GL: Sir, I cant believe it. I think you should see this yourself. (cue James Bond theme song)

A: Rebels. GL, tell me, what does the Article 18.1.5 of the Buku Panduan Pelajar say?

GL: Pengawas dilantik supaya mereka dapat berkhidmat untuk sekolah dan Negara masing-masing.

A: Then you all know what we have to do. (Prefects nod head in unison)

Scene 2

GL: Stop! Hands up! Drop it! Let me see your hands in the air! Hands in the air! Drop it!

T: Its just a schoolbag.

GL: Article 13.21- perintah pengawas mesti dipatuhi. Before you break anymore school rules, just do as I tell you!

S2: School rules? We don’t care about school rules. No one cares about them.

GL: That’s why we’re here. To enforce school rules. (students laugh in unison)

A:Your flagrant disregard of the school rules disgust me. You’re an embarrassment to our species. Look at this!(refers to a short skirt)

GL: Article 2.2- Pelajar-pelajar hendaklah memakai pinafore tidak lebih daripade 2 inci atas lutut. (measures) 2.5(FIVE!) inches. (prefects shake head in unison)

A: And look at this! ( refers to low pants)

GL: Article 1.4- Seluar pelajar tidak boleh berfasyen. (measures) 5 inches from the waist. (prefects shake head in unison)

A: Look at this! ( refers to untucked shirt)

GL: Article 1.6- Baju mesti dikancing dengan dengan kemas dan tidak boleh dipakai di luar.(measures) Every inch of his shirt isn’t tucked in. (prefects shake head in unison)

A:Look at this!(refers to black shoes)

GL: Article 4.2- Kasut getah yang lain daripada warna putih tidak dibenarkan sama sekali.. Sir, these shoes look as dark as you! (prefects shake head in unison)

A:Look at this!

GL: Article 9.8- Rambut pelajar tidak dibenarkan menggunakan “gel”.

S3: Its water-lah!

GL: Same! (prefects shake head in unison)

S4: But why should we listen to you? You’re just a prefect. (rebels join in noisily)

T: So what if she wants to show off her legs? So what if he wants to show off his boxers? So what if I want to wear my shirt outside? So what if her shoes are as dark as your face? So what if he wants to put chemicals on his hair?

S3: Its water-lah!

T:So what if we want to do whatever we want to do? Freedom of expression! Free will! Right! (rebels chime in)

T: We’re born with freewill, so what makes you think that you can take it away from us? (rebels chime in again, surrounding prefects) (cue mission impossible) …

GL: Hey look! Its Pn Rohaidahana! (rebels look back, and quickly line up) (apologetic, heads hung low, and frantically adjust their clothes)

T: Hey! What happened to freewill?(rebels proceed through the spotcheck line)

T is handcuffed and taken away to be electrocuted into submission in the all new underground Bilik Disiplin(well they aren't just building toilets you know)

Moral of the story: The moment you step into school, you trade your soul for that uniform you’re wearing. So the least you can do is wear it right. Don’t go against the school rules, you’ll never win. Ever.

S3: But its water-lah. Seriously.

Uh oh. Somebody's an activist.

They never said anything. Not even in the fine print. Here he was, thinking, "I'll never get it, what are the odds anyway?"(1 in 20 actually). And so he sent in his application. Then he made it to the interview, and then he thought, " Ah, everyone gets into the interview, this is where he'll get officially rejected." Surprise, surprise, he made it to the national selection. Alright, he had a good run. Maybe it was some management screw-up. Either way, who in their right mind would give HIM a scholarship? Few weeks later, he gets the call. Albert is one of the 30 people in the whole of Malaysia selected for a fully sponsored exchange program to the United States.

You have got to be kidding. People dying to get into the program didn't get it and this guy who was half-assed about it all the while finds this whole thing falling in his lap. How do things like this happen to him?

"The Youth Exchange and Study Program(YES)is an innovative high school student exchange program funded by the US Department of State's Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs( sounds suspiciously like one of those fictional shady secret organizations under the CIA). This public diplomacy initiative, authorized by Congress in the aftermath of September 11, builds bridges of international understanding, especially between Americans and the people in countries with significant Muslim populations."

Odd as it may seem, the US government wants to sponsor Albert to help in promoting international understanding between Malaysia and the US. As Albert reads through the YES program leaflet(yeah,only now he wants to know what he's getting into) he realises that these people who get selected are often referred to as "young ambassadors" or " community activists" and the scariest of which " a bunch of kids who can accomplish more in a very small amount of time than a country can achieve in decades-World Peace"

Oh shit.

Albert can't do world peace! A young ambassador?! An ACTIVIST?!!

This is all crazy, in a couple of months time SPM will be over, and before he can start burning his books he'll be whisked away halfway round the world to to live with a couple of strangers for six months. And after being ogled at for 6 months he'll have his ass hauled back to Malaysia and be re-screwed by the culture shock. And since NS will take up 3 months of the remaining 6 that he will have next year, there is nothing else productive to do other than to go to Form 6.

All this in the good name of world peace.

It has happened then. His destiny is fulfilled, Albert is now, an, act...act...acti....activist.

P...Pea..Peace.

September 9, 2006-2007

Anyone who's tried will tell you it wasn't easy. Motivation may get you started, but even habit sometimes wont keep you going. He never really expected it to turn out like this. One year, 3 blogs, and 36 posts later here we are, the first year anniversary of Albert's blogs.

One whole year.

One whole year of detailed documentation of Albert in a witty 3rd person perspective. Nothing more other than Albert, more Albert and more Albert. And you actually read it. You are either extremely bored most of the time or you really, really have no life. Either way thanks, it was terribly nice of you. You did a wonderful job of making Albert feel important. And noticed too, just Google "kamahlendra".

http://www.google.com.my/search?q=kamahlendra&hl=en&filter=0

You guys really are awesome. You stuck with him through all those moments of his life. The times when he was at a lost for words-

'As he was playing with his handphone, he glimpsed a pair of gorgeous legs sprouting from 3 inch heels, he looked up to see the owner of those legs. He didn't deserve the sight, but there it was, in all her glory, fitted into a tight, tiny black, glittery dress. She flashed him a smile, he looked on stupefied. Time grounded to a halt, his heart skipped a beat(maybe more), white noise filled his brain, it was as though the very spirit of every male that ever acknowledged the highest form aesthetic beauty that is the female culminated in this very moment, this blip in the fabric of time through all eternity. With such a burden on Albert's back to express this into a sentence that includes adjectives and superlatives that was due to the Godsent creature in front him, what does he say?

"I..I...you..you...look....WHOA!!!" '

Or those times when he was being a guy-

'in a prefect uniform, blazer and all, and boy, she looked hot in the short and tight skirt and small blouse. Its like how a nurse's uniform becomes all sexy in a male fantasy when in fact it really isn't, thats how she transformed the school prefect uniform into something Pn Rohaidah and Pn Chong certainly did not appreciate'

Or the times when people reacted rationally when they confused his identity with someone else-

'Barely moments later, Albert had his shirt forcefully tugged by this Indian dude over to the passenger seat of his blue wira. Albert's legs betrayed him as he followed the man over to the other side in bewilderment. The man was tense and slightly nervous as his eyes glanced the street and spoke to Albert in a hoarse whisper: " Get in the car, now!"

The car door was already open by now, and the man was even more tense and hurried. He repeated his words, but in a more threatening manner, and still Albert refused, hoping he could buy time until someone doing their daily jogging would just by chance come by, but strangely, no one came. But with every passing second, the Indian man could not risk being seen, and with a resolute threat, he looked dead in Albert's eyes, slipped his hands behind his back, and announced that he had a gun.' -ah,the wonderful people of the world.

The times he did things he wished he didn't-

'“Truth or Dare?” she asked. He picked dare, cause he would have lied his way out of Truth anyway. She thought for a while, but it was almost as though she already had it in her mind, it was quite a fantastic idea. Their eyes locked for a while, as everyone dropped silent. “Except me, pick someone of the opposite sex and kiss her. OH yeah, she has to be special." '

And the his painfully intellectual/paranoid moments-

'somehow, he thinks marriage is society’s way to trap young people to adhere to an accepted social structure whereby the building blocks starts at the family.'

And being a guy again(just better worded)-

' “ you can lose yourself, everything, all boundaries, all time, the two bodies become soo mixed up that you don’t know who’s who or what’s what, and just when the sweet confusion soo intense you think you’re going to die, and you know you kinda do, leaving you alone in your separate body, but the one you love is still there. That’s the miracle, you can go to heaven and come back alive, go back anytime you want with the one you love.” ' -With protection of course.

The incredibly optimistic times-

' " I open my eyes, and as I take my 1st conscious breath, I see magnificent golden rays of sunlight filtering through the naked windows. Nature's symphony already proceeding with the chirping of birds, far away muffled barking and late insects headed back to their lairs. The tiltating aroma of freshly brewed coffee teases my already pampered senses, as I slip out of my bed in a zen-like state. I am the picture of serenity. Peace is me, and I am peace." '

And sometimes a little overboard with the far-fetched optimism-

'Then their breakthrough in the international scene will come with their 2nd single, "Beat it", followed up by "Beat You Up" and the phenomenal success of the song "Beat-rice". Fame, fortune, and everything else falls in the laps of B.E.A.T.S. members. Also a chunk of musical history too. '

The slight dramatizations-

'7 birds of chicken. 6 kg of mutton. 5 bags of flour. 4 family members. 3 consecutive days of shopping. 2 narrating personalities. ONE MISSION: Christmas. '

The transformations(some incomplete for very good reasons)-

'Albert 2006: Normal boring prefect.
Albert 2007: Normal boring prefect + English debating zone champion + lead actor, scriptwriter, co-director of English Drama + Vocalist of a band( pending 2 upcoming gigs).'

The happy times-

'Well, they won. Albert made his debate debut, in the Taylors debate, as 1st speaker, against St. Mary's, and they won.'

And the sad ones-

'So here was Albert, drowning in post-debate depression, hoping Saturday he could eat his depressed soul out at the buffet dinner, which is some sort of consolation. Of course it would be nice if he had a friend who could give him a good pat on his back and go all : “ Come, come, its alright,” but you can’t eat your friends you see. They would’t taste good anyway.'

Discussed great conflicts in his life-

'Albert is in a dilemma. An almighty dilemma.
Well you see, he has a shirt. And the shirt has all its prints on the back. And the front is empty. Soo what does our poor protagonist do? Should he do the rightful thing and wear the shirt like he should, with the print on the back, and risk looking like an idiot wearing his shirt the wrong way?

Or, does he go against the very grains of morality and deliberately wear the shirt the wrong way, with the print on the front, so that it will seem to everyone that this bright chap here wore his shirt the right way? Although deep down inside he will know that he isn't wearing the shirt the right way, and although it may seem like he is, he REALLY ISN'T. Plus, the collar gets itchy when you wear the shirt the wrong way. '

The intense political discussions with the occasional tasteful dig-

'sakitgigi,u pergi tuang Coca-cola ke dalam lubang ccohai nenek awak,lepas itu ambil straw dan hisap minum Coca-cola cibai nenek,taruk kaki kau ke dalam dubur datuk kau dan korek berak keluar,hahahaha '

Attempting the impossible-

'They had lofty dreams of promoting Malaysian culture and fostering greater understanding between countries as young ambassadors. And somewhere along the lines, help the world attain world peace. To them, its worth it.

To Albert, well, its free what, so what the hell man'

-and succeeding. (yeah, he actually got the exchange program)

Yes, to you people out there, thank you so very much for supporting this blog. It couldn't have happened without you(well actually it could but it wouldn't be as fun).

To one year of Albert, his opinions, and hopefully many more years of this bullshit.